it’s 11pm, the night before I go back to work. I really should be thinking about bed, not blogging. Yet here I am.
I have an odd relationship with my Blog. It’s like having a really top-of-the-range android phone that can check email, play films, has voice recognition, can link to your other technology… but only ever using it to make phone calls. This blog has the potential to say far more and reach more people than my Facebook page ever could, but I barely pay it any attention. I don’t have any real idea how to use my “dashboard”, there are snags all over with my graphics and typos… There are all sorts of wonderful things I could do with this place it in terms of presentation, promoting it, using it to network, using it to become part of the blog community… But my little blog remains a poor adjunct to my Facebook page.
I know there is a huge blogosphere out there to be explored. I am starting to get the hang of how to follow other people’s blogs, and I think a couple of people even follow this now.
That’s wierd in itself.
When I set up my wordpress account a few weeks ago, I had no intentions other than to use it to present some of my longer Facebook posts in a prettier manner for my readers. But I’m starting to realise that many Facebook page followers don’t necessarily bother to read linked blog posts, they have different appetites; meme’s, funny anecdotes, touching stories, bitesize nuggets of awareness and information. Added to the fact that Facebook is increasingly reluctant to let anyone see when I post a link to this blog, I began to ask myself if it was worth carrying it on, or should I just revert back to doing longer Facebook posts that I know people will see and read?
I’m not sure I want to let it go. I feel a sense of peace when I’m writing here that I don’t get when I’m posting stories and meme’s on facebook, with meme’s, tags, comments and little red notifications popping up every minute. Here I have time and space to think my thoughts through to their fullest extent before putting them down (not that that’s necessarily evident from my writing…). In some ways, I’ve been finding that daunting. I’ve almost been approaching my blog entries with a sense of apprehension, as though they were some kind of university assignment that would be deemed inadequate. In having the luxury of space and time to write, I feel like I should be producing something more worthy when I’m writing. But that’s because I care a lot more than I realised about my writing. I’ve always loved using the written word, ever since I was at school. Poems, Prose, creative, analytical, scientific, humanities…no matter what the subject and format, I always took huge pride and enjoyment in creating extended pieces of writing. I enjoy it more than speaking most of the time. There is a sense of importance and responsibility about setting a thought down in writing. When I speak, my words might be remembered by the person who hears them, but not in their entirity, and not by anyone else. Here, my words are crystalised and permanent. I want them to be good words, meaningful, enjoyable. That is a challenge, but one that I want to start rising to. This blog has the power to really help me re-connect with a skill that made me proud, to help me unwind niggling thoughts from my head, to bring me into contact with some of the amazingly creative, expressive minds that I have begun to get to know through their own blogs. I crave the chance to interact at this deeper written level. I don’t want to let it go.
The reality is I am back to work in less than 12 hours. Life is going to get a lot busier. I have to prioritise my family and time for the kids above any other considerations.
Yet I resolve here and now: in 2014 I will learn to use this blog account properly, I will follow and really read more great bloggers, I will try and approach my own writing with less anxiety and more of the old sense of enjoyment and adventure. I will allow this blog to live and flourish in it’s own right, rather than just as a feeder to my Facebook page.
Stick around. This will get better.